Death Of Mine
by FallenDarkAngel2
Summary: Beck dumps Jade and she can't go on living with such pain. Read and Review please!


Disclaimer- I don't own Victorious!

AN- so I woke up and I had this feeling to write. So I came home after school and wrote this. Please enjoy and review! Merci!

Why does she feel so vulnerable? Like she can't go on anymore? The walls are getting closer and closer. And she can't breathe anymore, its suffocating her. She feels trapped in this cycle. She's so helpless, so defenseless and she hates it. Since when is Jade West the one who needs help? She can do everything by herself. But not any more, she failed to meet her standers. She failed to do everything she wanted to. To become famous, to get noticed by the world, she failed to keep Beck. Though he promised her, he'd never leave her. But words are just words, empty and cold words.

Jade walked home with the pounding rain pouring down at her. But she didn't care whether she was wet or not. She kept her head down low and made her way home. She ignored the rude comments some people made when they saw her. She did not have the energy to acknowledge them. All she wanted was to go home and hide in her room until this bad nightmare was over.

When she arrived home, no one was there. But then again why should she expect anyone to be there? Her parents are constantly going to business trip or fancy parties to even notice they have a daughter. And when they are home all they do is scream at each other. Her mother doesn't dare to even talk to Jade, blaming all their fights on an ungrateful daughter who doesn't have the decency to go to a real school instead of an abnormal school such as Hollywood Arts. Her father pays no attention to her what so ever. All he does is give her everything she wants so he wouldn't have to deal with her. He would never look at her in the eye when he talks to her. He just pushes by her and keeps her hidden when guest come over. He is ashamed that his daughter isn't going to a rich private school like all the other rich girls. He is embarrassed that his daughter dresses the way she does, acts the way she does and breathe the way she does. She doesn't let it get to her but there are moment, when all she can do is think of how her parents don't love her. Just like Beck doesn't love her.

Jade opens the door to her house, and stumbles in soaked. She heads to her room, her gothic styled room. She looks at her mirror. Look at her, she's too pale, her makeup is running down her face, her hair is a mess and she looks as if she was in some sort of disaster. She gives out a deep sigh and begins to undress her self to take a shower. She wraps a towel around her naked body and walks to the bathroom in her room. Her hand reaches to turn on the water and in she steps in. The warm, soothing water hits her body gently. She felt her body relax and she closes her eyes. She opens her eyes quickly remembering how it all happened. How Beck had dumped her…she feels tears coming out of her eyes but she's stubborn so she wipes them away quickly. She finished her shower and once more wraps herself around the towel, moving her body to her closet. She picks out black sweat pants and a black long sleeved shirt. She dresses.

She can feel that feeling again. The feeling of suffocation, the feeling of sadness, the feeling of anger. It's all coming back to her. How she will never forget this day. This day where Beck had broken her heart into millions of pieces, this day was tormenting her. He had gone over to her during lunch and asked to talk in private. She followed him into a corner. "It's over Jade." He said so cold. Jade felt her heart sink. "Why?" She asked. He only looked down and said "I can't stand the constant fight, the disagreement or the way you think you own me." Jade fell silent and that was it. He walked away from her and acted like nothing had happened. He picked up his stuff from the table and left. Jade followed in his steps and gathered her things and began to walk home. It started raining. But she didn't care.

Jade sat on her bed, knees pressed against her chest. She began to cry. Her fears came true. It was just like her mother said, "that boy doesn't love you, he'll leave you. You're the type of girl no one wants to be with." Her mother spits out harshly. Jade felt anger at herself.

"I'll never leave you, he said!" Jade screamed. She got up and walked furiously to the mirror. She looked in to her reflection.

"What? AM I not good enough for you, Beck? Am I too worthless for you to be with?" Jade yelled at the mirror.

"Answer me?" Jade exclaimed. Tears ran down her cheek. She can't take it anymore! The anger inside of her was taking over. And she slammed her fist into the mirror. Shards of glass sank into her fist. She cried of the pain. The mirror broke into shards and fell to the floor. Blood dripped down her arm and onto the floor as well. She screamed in frustration. She held her bloody hand to her chest and ran to the bathroom. She turned on the sink and put her hand under the running water. The pieces of glass slid down to the sink but the blood kept flowing. She cried and cried, non stop. She washed her wound clean and wrapped it around a towel. She fell to the floor and held her hand to her chest, it wouldn't stop bleeding. The blood leaked to the floor.

After several minutes the wound stopped bleeding, she took off the stained towel to reveal all the cuts in her hand. She wiped away her tears with her non wounded hand. She struggled to get up but she did. She opened her bathroom cabinet and took out the first aid kit. She disinfected her fist and placed a band-aid over it before wrapping it with a soft brown thin cloth. It stung like hell but she didn't complain. She walked over to her desk and picked out two fish net gloves that went all the way up to her elbows. She put it on to cover up the cloth she had used. She looked over at the mirror, blood stains on the carpet. She sighed and went down stairs to get the vacuum. She picked up the glasses pieces and used the vacuum to clean up the rest. Once it was all cleaned up, Jade grabbed a wet towel and tried to remove the blood stains on her carpet. She managed to get a couple of stains out but not all of it. She threw the towel away and went to her bed.

See what you make her do Beck? She hurt herself because of you. Jade is breaking and she's about to shatter like the mirror did. There's only so much a person can handle. She doesn't need what is needed; all she needs is something to believe in. And she believed in the love Beck gave her. But it's gone now, what does she have left? Nothing…

Sadness is blinding her, anger is becoming her and her trust has left her. She gave Beck everything she had, EVERYTHING. He said those words, "I will never leave you." But look at what he did now. He dumped her and walked away from her. He left her broken, and now she's hurting on the inside. She's tired of this; she's tired in her mind…in her heart. Won't anyone come to save her? She wishes Beck would just pick up the phone and dial her number. He would tell her it's all a joke and that he never meant it. But Jade knows that is never going to happen. He dumped her and this time for good. He wasn't going to take her back now. He was going to walk away from her. And what can she do but sit back and watch as her nightmares come true. He broke her heart and she will never forgive him.

So what happened now? She has nothing left to live for. What difference will it make if she were to leave? Her parents would still hate her, Beck won't love her and no one would care. Not her parents, not Beck and not any of her friends, if she even had any.

"I HATE YOU!" She screamed. Tears flowed down her face again. This was it, this was the final thing Jade said before she angrily went down to the kitchen and grabbed a knife. Like any time before she held it to her wrist. And in 1 2 3 she slit her wrist. Her dropped the knife and fell to the kitchen floor. Why Beck? Why did you have to leave her?

That was it. That was the end of Jade West. Jade West was gone and will never be coming back.

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Her mother came home from work and went into the kitchen. She found her daughter laying on the floor. Her mother screamed.

"JADE!" Her mother yelled. She knelt down before her and fell over her daughter's body crying. She shook her head in disbelief. Why? Why didn't I pay more attention to her? Her mother thinks. She dials 911 and when they arrive they make it final that Jade West is gone. They take her body away and Jade's parents cry and cry.

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At Hollywood Arts, Cat is first to get the news. She gets a phone call from her parents and they tell her the news.

Cat falls to her knees and begins to cry. Tori, Andre, and Robbie rush to her side.

"Cat! What's wrong?" Tori asked concerned about the red headed girl. Cat shakes her head.

"N-no! They're lying." Cat shouts, everyone stops and stares at the girl crying.

"Who's lying Cat?" Robbie asked but Cat simply shakes her head. She cried.

"Cat, talk to us. What's wrong?" Andre said, Robbie, Andre and Tori bend down to their knees.

"J-J-Jade!" Cat manages to say.

"What about Jade?" Tori asked worried. Andre and Robbie listen attentively.

"S-she…she's g-gone!" Cat stuttered.

"Gone? Where to?" Robbie asked and Cat shook her head.

"S-she…Jade, k-killed h-herself!" Cat finally said. Gasps were heard through out the hallways. Everyone had heard. Tori grew tears in her eyes as did Robbie and Andre. Then Beck came.

"What's going on? Why is everyone around you guys?" Beck said noticing the crowd that had formed. They all got up and Tori hugged Cat. Robbie and Andre turned to Beck.

"I'm sorry man…but Jade…" Andre began to say but his voice faded.

"What about Jade?" Beck asked scared.

"She's….Jade's dead." Andre said. Beck felt his heart stop. What was going on? No, Jade would never…No!

"N-no. Dude that is so not funny!" Beck shook his head.

"I'm not lying." Andre said. Beck laughed as if he were crazy.

"Jade…is not dead!" Beck shouted as he began to cry. Andre let tears come out.

"I'm sorry." Andre said as he hugged Beck. Robbie hugged him too. Beck cried and cried. His Jade, the one he broke up with is dead. She's gone and she's never coming back.

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A week has gone by, everyone at school is not the same. Tori spend most of the time occupying herself so she doesn't have to think about Jade. Cat never smiles anymore. Robbie is done with Rex. Andre finds it hard to write songs. And Beck…he just sits there and doesn't speak to anyone. He stopped doing all his work, he quit acting. Teachers, parents and Lane tell him to keep going. But he can't. Not after what happened to Jade. He blames himself for letting this happen. They tell him it's not his fault but he doesn't believe them. It is his fault.

It's that time, time for the funeral. They all gather around, dressed in black. Tori and Cat crying together. Robbie and Andre trying to comfort them. Jade's mother hovered over her daughter's body. Jade's father standing tall and not shedding a tear because his rich friends are there. And Beck, standing all in the way in the back, silently crying.

Oh Beck, how she loved you so much. She cried for you, she loved you so much Beck. Don't ever think she didn't love you because she did. She loved you since the moment she met you. She just couldn't take the pain anymore. She couldn't take her parents not loving her, her heart broken or the fact that she thought you didn't love her anymore. But you did, you did love her. You never stopped but it was too late. And for that Beck, you will always feel guilty.

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AN- Ok I'm done! What did you think? Please tell me! I would love to hear your opinion! No flamers please! Thank you!


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